Friday, August 26, 2011

Appt Update

Needless to say, my IVF consult was some positive and some negative.  Was it informative...yes.  Was it overwhelming....yes.  My RE feels that this would be my best option to conceive now.  He feels that there is something going on with my eggs that is not allowing the sperm to connect with it.  So, with all that in mind, I was set to start preliminary testing in February....until I met with my coordinator.  She was the one who hit me with the bomb.  I was quoted a little over $10,400.  I almost have half of that, but not quite.  My RE assumed since my insurance covered IF testing and medications, then I didn't have to worry about mid cycle payments.  Well, he was wrong.  It is my preliminary testing and medications that will be covered...that is it.  I was actually excited to begin this process, but now I'm more stressed.  I need to come up with a better savings game plan.  I'm trying to come up with this as quickly as possible so I can get this over with.

Here is my preliminary testing list (from what I can remember): repeat CD 3hormone testing, blood type screening, HIV/hepititis screening, uterine cavity check, saline sonogram with mock transfer.  J has to do repeat SA and HIV/hepititis screening.  Now here is my tenative protocol for IVF:  BCP cycle prior, start Lupron injections starting on CD 21, Follistim injections, Repronex injections, and PIO injections after ER.  Fun right?!

Until then I'm going to concentrate on me.  I haven't done that in awhile.  I'm going to be healthier all around: mentally, emotionally, and physically.  I'm going to do more exercising to get my weight down for when I do happen to do IVF.  I would like to fix up my house a little bit.  Maybe find some cheap artwork to hang up.  I'm hoping that I can do this early next year, but am fully aware/prepared if I do not arrive there until next year.  Until then, all I can do is pray for a miracle and also fill out applications for some IVF grants/scholarships.  Somethings gotta give for me soon and work in my favor.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Post Ovulation Update

Today I got my phone call regarding my post ovulation labs from my coordinator.  My RE is very pleased as to how the booster helped my body this time around.  My e2 level is 147 and p4 level is 23.3.  Let's see if changes my final outcome at all.  I still have my IVF consult this Friday afternoon and I'm trying to prepare as best as I can for this appointment.  I'm not sure what to expect at this appointment and what type of questions I should ask.  My RE did warn me that this appointment may leave me emotionally/mentally exhausted.  Now that I think back at him saying that, I should have picked a day where I can take a whole day off from work.  But maybe it's a good thing that I didn't, keep my mind occupied and not thinking about it too much.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Better Than Expected

My sisters baby shower was yesterday and I must say it went better than expected.  Although I did completely lose  it when I got there.  Just seeing all the gifts and how it was decorated just really hit me, but I collected myself and got over it.  Someday......I did cry again when I spoke with my sister.  My sister and I have not spoken in quite sometime, so it was a bit emotional for the both of us.  All in all, good day.  At the end I did get "now when you go home you and J have to start getting at it" from an aunt.  In her defense, she has no idea what I'm going through so I just pushed it aside.

Now I just have to wait for my niece's birth and enjoy her.

Friday, August 19, 2011

A New Low...

well to me at least.  Today at work, I decided to stop in at Hallmark for the finishing touches on my sister's baby gift.  I bought the wrapping paper, gift bag with tissue paper, card, and the cutest stuffed animal.  Well, I had a breakdown in the store.  I was fine when I picked out the wrapping paper, felt the eyes starting to welt at the gift bags, and lost it at the cards.  Luckily the store was not crowded.  I picked out the cutest stuffed lamb for her with tears in my eyes then headed over to a section where the had sports stuff so I had time to calm down.  I'm sure the ladies in the store new I was crying, it was completely obvious, and must think I'm nuts.

That wasn't the first time I cried today.  I definitely lost it when I first got into work for no apparent reason.  Perhaps it was my sudden headache, hormones, my body's sudden urge to thin my blood (had another difficult time at a lab draw this morning), or maybe tomorrow.  I'm hoping tomorrow will not be as bad as I'm portraying it to be and the weekend gets better.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Emotional Couple of Days

These past couple of days have been a bit emotional.  I thought I had some time to get my sister's baby shower gift, but I had to rush to get that.  Apparently I mistaken it for next week instead of this Saturday.  Who knew that looking at a baby gift registry would get me so emotional.  I couldn't help but go through it and think of how cool that would be or I would get this instead of that.  I got her a few things for the car, safety around the house, and hangers for the closet.  I have also decided to open a savings account for my new niece once she is born (my bank will need at least her name and date of birth).  I'm hesitant in going to this because 1) my sister and I are not close and have not spoken in quite some time; 2) I feel I will not be able to handle being there because of this whole IF thing; 3) I really do not want to be confronted.  It would not be the time nor place to ask me questions about my baby making status and I already feel that I may be snarky that day.  So I'm hoping that this day will go on without any problems or issues.

On Tuesday, I got to do my first HCG booster injection.  Boy was that a mess.  I completely forgot that I had taken an anti-inflammatory about 3 hours prior to that injection while I was at work.  *WARNING FOR THE WEAK STOMACHED*  Once I took the needle out, I was really bleeding.  It of course stopped after 30 seconds of pressure, but I learned my anti-inflammatory medications when a large needle is involved.

Well now it's time to get ready for work and then off to kickboxing at 6

Have a good day everyone.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Cycle Update

So here is a cycle update for Follistim #5.  Today, 8/10/11, is CD8.  I had gone in this morning to my RE for my monitoring appt and had a follie size of 20.  I just received a call from one of my coordinators and my e2 is 229. As usual, my RE reviewed everything and is still perplexed with what is going on.  He still wants me to progress with my HCG tonight and do the HCG booster on 8/16 as well as 8/19, even though I am hesitant in doing so.  I had asked if I can scrap the remaining cycle, but they stated it can still happen and want to see what happens.  What is my body doing to me?!  Why is it playing all these games?!  Needless to say, I don't need to do the PK test now.  I will definitely keep my 8/26 appt with Dr. M for my next step.  I don't know how much more I can take...

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Here We Go Again

Friday morning I went to Dr. M's office for my baseline u/s.  Everything looks good again and all clear: no cysts, lining looks good, and I have a small unmeasurable follie growing on my left side.  Cycle #5 plan:  begin Follistim injections today 8/7 at 50 i.u., go back Wednesday morning for a monitoring appt,  then go back in Friday for my final monitoring appt as well as my PK test, and then I will finally trigger with Novarel on Friday (hopefully) and then I will follow the trigger with a Novarel booster.  My RE wanted to decrease my Follistim to hopefully calm my body down.  He thinks that maybe my body was allowing my follies to progress to fast during some cycles but not let my hormones stay on the same course as the follies.  So he is hoping that this helps.  So I will remain on 50 i.u. until my first monitoring appt and will most likely be increasing to 75 i.u. to finish out for the last 2 days.  I have been trying to plan the PK test for awhile now and both my coordinator and myself have been stressing this would never get done.  J normally leaves for work at 4 or 5 in the morning and it is usually difficult to "prepare" for the test at 4 am.  Anyways, when I told her we would actually be able to do this test on this cycle it was a relief.  I was hoping my Dr. M would be available to do it, but  he is unfortunately out of the office and his colleague can't do it.  So my coordinator was free to do so.  As long as it gets done right?!  And to explain the Novarel booster...I must have had a weak ovulation last cycle.  My p4 and e2 were way off and were not in the ranges they were suppose to be.  So Dr. M wants to add another Novarel injection to the protocol.

So that is what cycle #5 looks like for me on FSH medication.  I'm kind of fearful that this will not work yet again but also hopeful.  Dr. M said he sees most patients get pregnant on cycle 4 or 5 on these medications.  So in a way that is still giving me a little bit of hope let (not much though).  I'm still booked for my IVF consult on 8/26 with Dr. M.  Whether I'm pregnant this time or not, I feel the consultation will be very informative.  I think if IVF is my reality, it will be welcoming to say the least to know that there is an end in sight.  I know IVF is never a guarantee and it may take one or several cycles to achieve pregnancy, but I feel that I'm finally at that point where I know this will need to be done.

The only difficult task I have this month is surviving my little sisters baby shower at the end of the month that is the day after my IVF consult....

Monday, August 1, 2011

An All To Familiar Sight

This morning I took my HPT and of course I saw my friend "not pregnant".  So now I get to play the waiting game of AF's arrival.  In the meantime, I need to get myself ready for my final cycle of Follistim and TI.  I'm kind of hesitant in doing one more cycle.  I just feel like I already know what the outcome is.  At this point in the game, I'm just ready to move on.  But my RE has yet another protocol he wants to try.  This next cycle, I will have the pleasure of doing a booster HCG injection proceeding the initial trigger.  Fun, right?!  At the end of the month, I have my IVF consult which I will be keeping now.  At the time I scheduled it, I was back and forth as to whether or not I was going to keep it.  Well, even if this next cycle is a success, it will be good to hear protocols, procedures, and what else comes with IVF.  Maybe I can even get a start date....I'm just ready to move on.  I'm very exhausted and just want to see an end to all of this.