Sunday, October 31, 2010

Update On Me..

So after having a little downfall with this past cycle, I have decided to make myself do more things to a) keep my stress level down; b) keep me occupied; c) keep my mind busy.  Well I must say that I have found a few things that will definately do that.  I decided to take up knitting.  My grandmother, who is deceased, use to knit all the time and make beautiful things.  I wanted to learn how to do that.  So after picking up some medications at Walmart I decided to check out the yarn aisle.  I had started this today and it is a challenge.  After practicing for a while, I'm starting to get the hand of it.  I don't know what I am making yet, but it is definately a work in progress.  Plus I figured this would be something good to learn for when I do have children.  I will be able to make blankets, hats, gloves, slippers, etc.  Hopefully I will be able to become that experienced. 

I also have a few books put aside to start reading.  I haven't picked up a good book in awhile.  I thought after graduation I'd give myself a mental break, but that obviously didn't work out too well...Dealing with IF my mind really has not taken a vacation. 

The next thing I am deciding to learn is sewing again.  I learned way back in Junior High, but would actually like to pick this up again.  I just need to get a new sewing machine.  The one I have now is not that good. 

Well that is at least my psychological update, now onto my IF update....

AF had finally arrived this morning and she was MAD!!  I have had pain my other cycles because of the clomid.  But now that I have added progesterone to the mix I could not even tolerate it.  I actually had to by Midol today.  Tomorrow I need to call my RE office and set up my monitoring appt for CD 13 or CD 14.  I also need to make sure they call in my refills of Clomid.  I guess my RE didn't think I would need more than 3 cycles of it.  I also need to call Freedom Fertility for my HCG shot and more progesterone...I get to start all of this fun on CD 5 which will be Thursday.  Oh I can't tolerate all this fun...At least I feel better psychologically going into this cycle.

Have a good one!!

Friday, October 29, 2010


Yet another cycle resulting in a BFN!  Since Sunday, I have been POAS hoping to see a positive result on FRER.  No so luck!  AF was due on Wednesday and she didn't come.  I knew it was one of two things: the progesterone that I am taking or I'm pregnant.  My RE did tell me that the progesterone may delay AF by a few days.  Well I POAS again this morning with CBE and it resulted in another negative.  So I did not use another progesterone this morning and will await the presence of AF.  Now I can start this fun all over again.  I must say this is getting very discouraging.  I think this upcoming cycle will be my last until the new year.  I really don't think Jim and I can take this pressure and disappointment over the holidays.  I'm not sure yet, I'm going back and forth with this.  If I do decide to go forward during December then it will be my last cycle my RE wants me on of clomid.  Which will bring me to 5 months of clomid.  I will then be moving on to the next step which will most likely be injectables.  My stress level has been slowly increasing with work, family, and this whole wonderful IF thing.  I'm trying to find ways to reduce this stress and relax more.  My exercising is only working so much and lasting so long. 

And I just remembered I am coming up on my one year anniversary with my RE.  February will be my 3rd year mark of TTC.  I honestly didn't think it would take me this long..........

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Why Did I Do That?!?!

So today I was shopping at Walmart and decided to by FRER just to have.  Well I got home and decided to test.  I don't know why, but I was curious to see if anything would show.  Maybe that is why there is a phrase "curiosity killed the cat"...I am not temping, charting, or any of that since I am being monitored by my RE.  Today I am 11 DPO and got a BFN.  Maybe that is too soon to test or maybe I really did get a BFN?  It is just so gut wrenching and discouraging.  At least I know the HCG is out of my system so any positives after today is for real.  I guess I will wait it out a few more days.  AF is due to arrive this Wednesday, so I guess I will test if I do not get it.  This way I will know for sure if I should stop my progesterone intake. 

What is making matters worse is that I am torturing myself watching 16 and Pregnant.  This is not helping my emotional state.  I have been overemotional lately.  Gotta love Progesterone!!!!! 

Sunday, October 17, 2010

10 Things You May Not Know About Me..

Given the fact that I have started a blog and did not offer too much about myself, here are some tidbits about me:

1.  I am the oldest of 3 children (all girls, my poor dad)
2.  I changed my major in college 3 times
3.  I was an athlete almost my whole life:  I was an avid swimmer from age 5 until 21; played softball for 10 years; played soccer; and was a dancer
4.  My husband is the tallest man I have ever dated
5.  I loathe tomatoes!!!!!  My husband cannot stand this fact, I will pick them off and out of anything.
6.  I love doing projects, but complain when I am actually doing them
7.  I lack common sense
8.  I enjoy reading especially Nicholas Sparks books
9.  I love to cook and bake but hate the clean up (who doesn't)
10.  I love to spend time at the beach.  Give me any beach, I will love it and its atmosphere

2 Week Wait

So I am now officially in the 2ww and it is not fun.  With the addition of medications (Novarel and progesterone) I have been a bit emotional and moody.  If you ask my husband I am nuts.  Also, I have been eating everything in site even though I am not hungry.  My birthday was on Friday and my gram baked me a very large chocolate cake.  She is such a sweetheart, I love her.  Ever since I can remember she has always baked me a cake or my favorite pie.  Just thinking about it makes me want to go back in the kitchen and eat another slice.  I guess I gotta work out extra hard tomorrow (that's if I do).  I really should, I ate so much good junk today. 

I need to find something to keep me occupied.  All I am doing is counting down the days until I can POAS.  That date will be around next Tuesday or Wednesday.  I'm hoping that all this medication will do the trick this cycle and I get a wonderful surprise.  In all honesty, I'm getting very tired of popping pills, doing injections, sticking suppositories up my vag, timing intercorse, and getting a disappointment each cycle.  Ughh...Ok rant over.


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Monitoring Appointment

This morning I had my monitoring appointment for my third round of clomid.  I must say that it went better than expected.  I had two follicles on my Right side:  one measuring at 23 and the other measuring at 14.  My estrogen level was at 258 and my lining looked very good.  So I had met with my nurse and had gotten some of my instructions I was then to await for her call this afternoon.  My Re said I can use my HCG injection tonight since he does not want the largest follie to get any larger.  I then get to start my progesterone on Friday.  Let's hope to this course staying on a "positive" track.  The only thing that sucks about this cycle is that my husband is out of the state for a few days so I won't get to see him until late Thursday night, that's if I even get to see him.  Can I say how much I hate him being out of town when I need him.

Monday, October 11, 2010

New to the Blogging World

Hello All!  This is my first ever blog.  I felt blogging would be something positive that I can add to my life given everything going on in my life: IF, family, work, etc.  I felt that this would be a good way of destressing or releasing my thoughts and emotions.  Between you and me exercise only does so much especially when there are things on your mind.  By doing this blog, I hope to help myself, and even maybe others, with my journey. 

On a positive note, this is my birthday week with my actual birthday being on Friday October 15.  I'm hoping to get a gift that will be most enjoyed and, of course, non-returnable.  Hopefully I will receive that gift at the end of the month. 

This week will most definately be busy ranging from monitoring appointments to my birthday night.  Here's to a good week and thanks for reading!