Another BFN...

So I had tested Wednesday, Friday, and today...It's official I am not pregnant.  Friday was the worst.  I had cried for almost 2 hours straight.  I guess I was hopeful that I "blossomed" late and would see at least a faint line confirming my convictions.  No such luck.  About a month ago, I had my mind set on taking December off to give myself a mental break.  As usual, I had changed my mind.  My RE wants me to do 5 cycles of Clomid.  Well December will bring me to my final attempt with this medication.  I figured if December wasn't my lucky month then I can start new in January.  Ring in the new year with new fertility medication.  At this point I'm giving up hope with Clomid.  It worked great for the most part...I began ovulating sooner (I was normally ovulating on CD 18 or 20), my follies have begun to reach maturity, and my hormones have begun to stabilize.  So, if the Clomid fails yet again I will be moving on to all injectables.  The good news about that is there is a higher success rate with pregnancy.  Also a higher rate of multiples.  I'm definately open to that, anything more than twins will make me extrememly nervous and increase my anxiety level. 

If my luck wasn't bad enough....at kickboxing today I think I may have torn something in my shoulder.  Awesome!  I'll have to have one of my docs look at it when I'm at work.  Hopefully it's nothing that rest, ice, and ibuprofen can't cure.

A Breath of Fresh Air

So this week of work has been nothing but a breath of fresh air.  After weeks of being buried in paperwork and rushing to get work done at the last minute I can officially say that I am caught up.  I had no idea I was that far behind on EVERYTHING!!!  Just need to get my mid December surgeries out and begin my total joint scheduling for January.  All I need to worry about in the mean time are my medical clearances, authorizations, and getting the surgeries to the hospitals and facilities.  It was so nice to end my work days with zero stress and zero worries.  No worrying if I did this, did I forget to do this, did I send this, did this doctor sign that....The picture below says it all (if I had a window).


Now I can sit back a coast the rest of the week and possibly next week.  I'm predicting next week won't be too bad due to Thanksgiving and Black Friday.  Thankfully we're closed and I'll have a nice long weekend.

Another 2 ww.....

Well I am officially in yet another 2 ww.  I hope everything works out this time.  Now that I think of it....if this does stick I would be due in August!  Which is the month we were married!  Ugh that would be a wonderful gift.  Like my other cycles, I'm not getting my hopes up.  Hopefully I will return with good news in 2 weeks!

Monitoring Appt

Today I had my monitoring appointment for my fourth cycle of clomid.  Everything seemed good.  My largest folli was on the left and measured at 28.  I had about 4 on my right but were unmeasurable.  Bloodwork looked good so I'm hoping for the best this cycle.  Despite all the good news I got, I got a little upset at my RE's office for the first time.  My RE nurse had to draw my blood since the lab tech was having difficulty with another patient.  Well mt nurse was brutal on me.  She started out good, but I think she went too deep because the blood stopped flowing.  Once that was resolved, I got another shock..My nurse told me my follies were only 11 and that I would need to come back on Monday.  I didn't think to question her because I thought that I didn't hear the u/s tech right.  So on my way back into work I got a call to come back to the office and pick up my HCG since mine won't be in until tomorrow.  Thankfully I was only 5 minutese from the office.  I do have about a 1 1/2 hour commute.  Here's to a "positive" cycle.

Amy

Here We Go Again....

So tonight I started my fourth round of clomid.  I'm really hoping this is the cycle.  I still need to call in my other meds to my pharmacy, but there is still time for that.  Next Friday I go into my RE's office for my monitoring u/s and blwk.  More fun.....I still need to get my blood drawn to check my prolactin level.  At least my busy tasks have been working to keep my mind busy.

Update On Me..

So after having a little downfall with this past cycle, I have decided to make myself do more things to a) keep my stress level down; b) keep me occupied; c) keep my mind busy.  Well I must say that I have found a few things that will definately do that.  I decided to take up knitting.  My grandmother, who is deceased, use to knit all the time and make beautiful things.  I wanted to learn how to do that.  So after picking up some medications at Walmart I decided to check out the yarn aisle.  I had started this today and it is a challenge.  After practicing for a while, I'm starting to get the hand of it.  I don't know what I am making yet, but it is definately a work in progress.  Plus I figured this would be something good to learn for when I do have children.  I will be able to make blankets, hats, gloves, slippers, etc.  Hopefully I will be able to become that experienced. 

I also have a few books put aside to start reading.  I haven't picked up a good book in awhile.  I thought after graduation I'd give myself a mental break, but that obviously didn't work out too well...Dealing with IF my mind really has not taken a vacation. 

The next thing I am deciding to learn is sewing again.  I learned way back in Junior High, but would actually like to pick this up again.  I just need to get a new sewing machine.  The one I have now is not that good. 

Well that is at least my psychological update, now onto my IF update....

AF had finally arrived this morning and she was MAD!!  I have had pain my other cycles because of the clomid.  But now that I have added progesterone to the mix I could not even tolerate it.  I actually had to by Midol today.  Tomorrow I need to call my RE office and set up my monitoring appt for CD 13 or CD 14.  I also need to make sure they call in my refills of Clomid.  I guess my RE didn't think I would need more than 3 cycles of it.  I also need to call Freedom Fertility for my HCG shot and more progesterone...I get to start all of this fun on CD 5 which will be Thursday.  Oh I can't tolerate all this fun...At least I feel better psychologically going into this cycle.

Have a good one!!
Amy

BFN!

Yet another cycle resulting in a BFN!  Since Sunday, I have been POAS hoping to see a positive result on FRER.  No so luck!  AF was due on Wednesday and she didn't come.  I knew it was one of two things: the progesterone that I am taking or I'm pregnant.  My RE did tell me that the progesterone may delay AF by a few days.  Well I POAS again this morning with CBE and it resulted in another negative.  So I did not use another progesterone this morning and will await the presence of AF.  Now I can start this fun all over again.  I must say this is getting very discouraging.  I think this upcoming cycle will be my last until the new year.  I really don't think Jim and I can take this pressure and disappointment over the holidays.  I'm not sure yet, I'm going back and forth with this.  If I do decide to go forward during December then it will be my last cycle my RE wants me on of clomid.  Which will bring me to 5 months of clomid.  I will then be moving on to the next step which will most likely be injectables.  My stress level has been slowly increasing with work, family, and this whole wonderful IF thing.  I'm trying to find ways to reduce this stress and relax more.  My exercising is only working so much and lasting so long. 

And I just remembered I am coming up on my one year anniversary with my RE.  February will be my 3rd year mark of TTC.  I honestly didn't think it would take me this long..........