Monday, January 3, 2011

Family vs IF...a little rant

I must say that this year the holiday's turned out better than expected:  relaxing, peaceful, and relatively uneventful.  Just the way it should be.  I just need to eliminate the pregnancy questions.

Lately, I have become use to seeing BFN's on HPTs, but it is now becoming fucking unbearable to hear family asking pregnancy questions.  When are you and Jim going to start trying?  Are you even planning on children?  And the winning comment from my grandmother...I'm waiting on some good news from you and Jim.  I would like this announcement sometime before I die.  CLASSIC!!  Sure Gram...How would you like this to happen.  Apparently sex and my hormones aren't working.  So please tell me how else we can do this, apparently everything that we're doing isn't working.  Better yet please let me know when you come across a magic lamp or a genie that I can wish this upon.  I don't know what has come over people but ever since our anniversary, these questions have been pretty much every other month.  I have not come out to my family  about my IF mainly because I really don't think that they'll get it.  I'm not if they will really get the extensive travelling, the testing, the drugs, the emotions, the disappointment, etc.  I came out at work only because I had to and it was the best decision ever.  After I came out, I realized alot of my co-workers had gone through or just went through IF treatments.  So it was nice to know that I can turn to people for advice other than my ladies on the TTTC board.  Plus I think if I told my family about my IF I'd get more questions than what I'm getting now.  The "how are the treatments going", "are you pregnant yet", and any other comments/questions that I may not want to hear. 

I love my family dearly, but each month and each comment is becoming not only an annoyance but heartbreaking.  I already feel that I'm letting down my husband by having trouble conceiving, but now I have to add my family to that.  I just feel like shouting "I am dealing with infertility issues, please do not comment to me about being pregnant/becoming pregnant/why I'm not pregnant until I make my announcement".  Even if I do that my family won't listen, especially my gram.  My gram pretty much says what she wants even if you tell her not to. 

If you read all of this, thanks for hanging in there!
Amy

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