Yet Another BFN!

This morning I took a pregnancy test and saw the words "not pregnant".  In a way, I knew this wasn't going to happen, but I still couldn't help but obssess over every symptom that I had: the constant headaches, fatigue, nausea, sore BB's...I knew it was AF trying to make her appearance but I was trying to remain hopeful.  Now I have a break cycle and I will prepare for my surgery in about 2 weeks.  The prep is going to suck since I can't have any aspirin or ibuprofen products...I tend to get some massive headaches at work.  I also have to prep with an enema the night before and the morning of surgery.  AWESOME right?!  Can't wait.  I am hoping that my RE finds something when he going in.  I think we all need some more answers as to why nothing sticks.  What really has me a little ticked is to why my RE is deciding to do the procedure now and not in the beginning.  Working in the medical field myself, I'm all for conservative treatments, but I feel that maybe I wouldn't have wasted all of my clomid treatments if this procedure was done in the beginning.  Well I can't argue with his methods, he is an excellent doctor. 

So with Jim totally on board with my surgery, which is completely shocking, we talked about the future.  We have not done this in quite sometime.  Our first topic was about my car.  My car is getting up there on miles and has seen better days.  When we have our child/children he wants me to have a more reliable car and I completely agree.  So I have been saving up for a SUV, most likely a Honda CRV.  I looked at him after our brief conversation and I can see that he was still thinking.  He then asked what if I had to choose between a car and IVF.  I think he is starting to realize that IVF is becoming more of a reality for us.  I told him hands down that I would want the IVF.  As much as I need a car, I want a child more.  And besides, Jim has a car that I could use.  He has a work vehicle and RARELY uses his car.  The only problem is that I'd have to learn how to drive stick and I had tried already.  Didn't turn out too good.  I did good on the highway and Interstate, but not on our town roads....I kind of freaked out.  Anyways, what I was thinking was that maybe I can set up another account with my bank for IVF.  So that I have enough for a car and part of the IVF.  Something to look into I guess.

What I'm hoping for is that this surgery will find something and when I begin the injectables I will become pregnant.  I only have a few goals for 2011.  One is to become more organized.  Two is to increase my exercising at home when I do not have exercise class.  Three is to be better with my finances/savings.  Four is to become pregnant.  Five is to have a better outlook on things.  Hopefully 2011 will be a wonderful year for everyone!

Thanks for reading!
Amy