Cycle Update

Tuesday I had my bloodwork done for my p4 and e2 levels.  My levels looked good according to my coordinator.  My p4 was 16.5 and my e2 was 105.  I'm not holding my breath though.  Any cycle where things seem to go right, I have excellent levels, great looking follies....it ends in nothing but a BFN!!!!!  I've been trying to keep my mind clear and to just keep occupied.  Which has been working so to speak.   I've been overloaded this week at work with surgeries and paperwork that I just come home completely exhausted and run down.  So I've just been coming home, cooking dinner, dishes, and just chillin out.  So I guess it is working, because until today when I got my bloodwork results I completely forgot where I was in my cycle.  I'm suppose to take a HPT on 7/6 but I think I may take it sooner.  I have a follow up with my RE on Friday and if this cycle is another fail I need to go for additional labs on CD3.  So I'm trying to plan for AF to start on Wednesday and have this all done on Friday so I don't miss much more work.  I'm sure it won't pan out that way.....it never does in my world.

Update on Me

Today I went in for my monitoring appointment.  Things are moving faster then before and are a bit concerning to my RE.  I had one leading follie measuring at 20 and my e2 was 246.  I'm only on CD 10!  So tonight I trigger and start the progesterone on Thursday night.  My coordinator went on saying if I don't get pregnant this cycle then they're going to do new labs on me.  My RE's office is now starting to do AMH labs.  So if this cycle is another fail, i go in for CD3 FSH, E2, and AMH.

Also....might I add.....I got yet another shock.  So one of my nurses at my monitoring appt was like can you come in tomorrow or Wednesday mid morning for a PK test?  Ummm no I can't.  I would need more advanced notice and I'm working with surgeon's both of those days, and they are both jam packed.  So the PK test is put on hold for now.  However, she was like it's been over a year since DH last SA he should have another one done.  Looks like Dr. M was concerned of gluten in is specimen.  Gluten...in is specimen....I was not told this before.  Why are they telling me this a year and a half later when I was told he was fine.  I bawled my eyes out all the way to work AND in the office.  (btw I've been super emotional the past few days...go figure).  I also googled this and it seems like it could have been cross contamination.  Not sure how he can have gluten in is specimen.  What does that even mean?  It seems like I'm leaving there with more questions than answers anymore.  BUT I maybe making a mountain out of a mole hill.  I was just too shocked that I didn't ask any questions when I was there.  I wish I should have..

Thanks for letting me vent.  I've been doing this all day and appreciate my co-workers as well as my readers for allowing me to vent and cry.  Have a good rest of the day

Blogger Games...

So after a few weeks of posting AND commenting difficulties, I'm now able to successfully post new things with ease and comment on other blogs.  I normally use Internet Explorer for pretty much everything and never had a problem.  About a month ago, I had a weird error coming from blogger making me run in circles to post and unable to comment in other people's blogs.  So, I decided to switch to Google Chrome and am now able to post and comment with ease.  If it's not one problem it's another.......

Baseline

This morning I went in for my baseline u/s.  Good news is that I have no left over follies from last cycle, no cyst, no nothing!!  Just the start of some follies starting.  So I get to begin my 3rd cycle of follistim.  I hope things are better this cycle.  I'm getting very tired of all this fun!  Next monitoring appt is Monday 6/20. 

Wonderful Poem

This poem was on Scuba's blog and written by a fellow bumpie Gregermis.  I hope they don't mind that I placed this in my blog.  It is a very good poem, enjoy

To those on CD1,

and all suffering from AF's malicious fun,

to those on oral and injectable meds,

and IVFers resting in their beds.

To minds stuck in an induced hormonal haze,

who's bank accounts have seen better days,

to those on breaks and natural cycles,

whose DH's miss their bicycles,

to monitoring appointments,

and BFFN disappointments.

When our bodies feel broken,

after doctor's diagnoses are spoken,

for OOP and OPKs,

and those fleeting hopeful days.

When using pre-seed to do the deed,

we remember all those poor sticks on which we have peed.

If you've achieved success only to suffer a loss,

remember that IF is a b*tch not the boss!

To feet in the stirrups with beautiful socks,

we watch our charts and curse our clocks.

When waiting for surgeries to heal,

And when sex starts to lose its appeal,

whether it's clomid + IUI,

or a nasty case of MFI,

our phantom little ones are waiting,

whilst we brave the needles we're hating,

so raise your glass of water or wine,

to that elusive little second line,

Drink your POM and eat your core,

We will beat IF and even the score!

Dear AF...

In the past I was so excited to see you, your arrival couldn't come soon enough.  Not so much anymore.  You give me that constant reminder that I'm failing as a woman.  I'm begging you to stay away for awhile and then return in approximately 10-12 months.  I will be more than happy to see you then.  However, I do appreciate your "hints" in the middle of the night that you are on your way.  It saves me from doing extra work the next day or spending more money.  I do greatly appreciate that part.  But please....DON'T COME BACK FOR AWHILE!

Sincerely,
Amy

So Naive...

I remember the days when I was so naive about fertility treatments.  At the beginning of my trouble trying journey, I always had a feeling that I would need to do treatments.  I just didn't think it would be this much and this long.  I remember when I thought clomid would work.....on the first try.  I'd like to think of my clomid mentality as a mini rollar coaster ride.  So many ups and downs.  The beginning of my cycle was like the beginning of a ride, the chain just slowly pulling the coaster cart up to the crest.  Then comes the monitoring appointment where I would get a good report.  This is the part where the cart is coasting off the chain to a potential drop.  Then there's the end of the cycle where dear AF comes, the emotional drop down to start all over again. 

I figured with Follistim, I'd try to have a different approach.  I think I was getting my hopes to high so I was hoping with a different mind frame that could hopefully change things.  Well, not so much so far.  I'm trying to have a "slow free-fall" mind of state, but I still end up on the rollar coaster.  I think Follistim is the drug for me, but maybe I need a dosage change to increase the stimulation a bit more.  My RE had also just realized that I need my Prolactin level checked (haven't had that done in awhile).  So maybe my Prolactin level is acting up again. 

So as you can guess by this post, I took a HPT and came up negative.....yet again.  Some how, it didn't bother me as much this time.  I guess I knew since my monitoring appt that this wasn't the cycle.  My follie was an ok size (only had one) and my e2 level was lower than desired.  So I think that maybe this follie was left over from last cycle and possibly empty.  I don't know, I'm just trying to justify things without beating myself up.  I do feel like I need to make some lifestyle changes.  I need to get my weight down (yes still....)  I do exercise, but I think I need to pick it up a bit more so I can drop my weight or at least lower my BMI.  Also, I need to cut back on the caffine.  I normally only drink 2 cups per day at breakfast, but there are occations where I have a few more at work.  I need to eat better and lower my stress level (easier said than done right). 

Well, thanks for reading and now I can wait for AF to arrive so I can begin a another cycle.